Chinese fans of a certain boy wizard may have been eagerly anticipating some wand-waving action starting Friday, July 15, the official release date of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2 on the mainland. Finally, we witness the final battle between Voldemort and Potter, which brings the world’s most successful film franchise ever to a close.
Though I remain indifferent to the books, I have enjoyed the Potter movies immensely, and thus count myself among the die-hard fans of the franchise, pedaling to my local IMAX bright and early on the 14th to secure my ticket for the premiere. My friends and I were planning to go in costume – I was going to be Dolores Umbridge. We’d booked a table at TGI Friday’s. This was the biggest deal since the premiere of The Phantom Menace. Better still, this movie looked like it might actually be good.
The first thing that struck me as odd was that nowhere in or around the cinema could I see a poster advertising Part 2. Kung Fu Panda 2 was still well represented, as was Transformers: Dark of the Moon, a film I knew for a fact was slated for release long after the dust had settled from the Battle of Hogwarts. But still, Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint were nowhere to be seen. Questions to the staff produced an evasive reaction – I got no more information than “it’s not currently being screened.” In a panic, I called my boyfriend, certain that he’d be able to find which cinemas in Beijing would be premiering Potter. After all, the previous three films were released bang on time in China, and understandably so, given the popularity of both the Warner Bros. franchise and J.K. Rowling’s novels with Chinese people young and old.
An anxious half-hour ensued as my better half called around and scoured the blogosphere. The result was so gobsmacking I had to sit down to take it all in.
Beginning of the Great Revival (Jiandang Weiye), a film not eagerly anticipated in China, but, in the view of some, infinitely important as the Party’s birthday present to itself, was slated to be the first domestic movie to break one billion yuan at the box office. That’s according to the filmmakers, not the cynical public, whose blogs slamming the film have blipped neatly off the domestic Internet with the regularity of a dripping tap.
Oh, wait, you haven’t seen Jiandang Weiye? No, nobody I know has, but apparently it’s amazing. At least CCTV, the Party, the NPC, and the folks who made it say it is. So good, in fact, that the government have forced all film and box office websites to take down the “comments” sections attached to listings of that movie and only that movie, no doubt because they would otherwise be jammed with postings praising its integrity and historical accuracy. The movie is doing so incredibly well that cinemas are no longer showing it in the evenings, I imagine so they can avoid stampedes and rioting among those unable to secure precious tickets. Anyway, even though it is unquestionably a masterpiece beyond criticism, apparently the domestic box office has fallen a shade short of one billion yuan in the opening week. In fact, to date, Beginning of the Great Revival has made only 0.3 billion yuan. This is including all those free and “compulsory” attendances by Party workers and their families, as well as State-owned enterprises organizing mandatory trips to see the film. There’s not a screen in China not showing it, even though most of them are playing to empty seats.
"Alright, who here thinks the movie we're in is a complete piece of shit?"
Well, says the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television, until we break one billion, you can’t have any fun in the cinema. Until then, Beginning of the Great Revival stays on release until every one of you ungrateful bastards goes and sees it. It doesn’t matter if cinemas lose money in the process – we’ll keep it out there for decades if necessary. It has to meet the government target. It has to. Otherwise, we’ve lost, yet again, to Hollywood.
As a result, the two movies most likely to be massive hits with the Chinese public – Transformers: Dark of the Moon and, wait for it, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part Two, have had their release dates pushed back. While SARFT isn’t saying so, this is because the two films will push Beginning of the Great Revival out of the domestic film chart within hours of opening, whereas at the moment it currently languishes around the number 8 spot (bear in mind, there are only ever around 15 movies on general release in China at any one time). For Hollywood to crush the Party in the month of its 90th birthday would simply be a bridge too far. As a result, Chinese audiences can wait until July 21 for their annual dose of brainless Bay, while Potter fans have to wait until at least August 4.
Needless to say, this move by the increasingly draconian SARFT has not gone down well. I won’t endeavor to summarize some of the blog posts my boyfriend came across, but the word shabi – “stupid cunt,” was used liberally in reference to the good people at SARFT. One highlight was delivered by a committed Potter fan, whose desperation was eloquently expressed in the phrase, “I hate Jiandang Weiye. Hate it, hate it, hate it!”
So, that’s it. I get to see Harry’s final battle against the forces of evil a good month after everyone else in the world because the Chinese government, having spectacularly failed to make a pointless, unmarketable vanity project successful by fair means, have turned to their old habit of forcing the delivery of an impossible target. Like the agricultural policies of the Great Leap Forward, failure is not an option for Party propaganda films. The only way to grant this steaming cinematic turd a modicum of success is to remove all competitors from the marketplace, so horny teenagers dodging their parents will have no choice but to sit through hours of Liu Ye portraying someone who somewhat resembles Mao Zedong while they feel each other up in a dark auditorium. On the plus side for the horny teenagers, at least there’s no chance anyone will see them at it. The government knows that, between them, Bay and Yates would annihilate their little Triumph of the Will, and so, predictably, they don’t play fair. And they ruin my weekend.
Welcome to Cinema with Chinese Characteristics.
